I looked in the mirror, pointed a finger at my reflection and declared….
We’re done doing that.
I don’t know who I was referring to when I said “we”? Perhaps all parts of myself – the conscious and the subconscious.
But I do know that I was done.
I was done burning myself.
The evening before, I had arrived in Leechburg, Pennsylvania where I would spend the next 7 days immersed in training to become a Soul Coaching® practitioner.
As everyone was getting settled into their rooms, LuAnn, our Soul Coaching® trainer gave us one word of caution….
“When you come to class tomorrow morning, watch out for the snake. He’s recently started hanging out in front of the door.”
LuAnn said she had asked him to move back to his garden spot, so he wouldn’t scare anyone. But, he told her that he was there for transformation.
When I heard that, I instantly knew he was there for me. I’m terrified of snakes. Which meant that this was going to be a week of facing my fears.
The question was which fears?
I didn’t need to wonder long. The answer came the following morning.
We had just started our training when I took a giant gulp of tea from my favorite pink insulated tumbler. The one that keeps things hot ALL day. Not only did I scorch my mouth, but I also burned my lips and chin as I drippled hot tea down my shirt.
This wasn’t the first time I’d burned myself. Showers, baths, pizza, microwaved burritos, tea, hot chocolate, spicy Indian food. I craved the heat and intensity of them all.
Why?
Because they helped my body feel.
For as long as I can remember, I defined myself as someone who works hard and goes to extremes to help others. So much so that I stopped listening to my own body. I couldn’t actually feel how hot things were…until I literally burned myself.
My fear was that if I didn’t work hard, I wouldn’t be of value. I wouldn’t be significant. Which left me with little time for self-compassion.
I put my own feelings aside and gave to others by demanding more of myself.
My bathroom mirror moment on my first day of Soul Coaching® training was a chance to face my fear of not doing enough and rewrite my script.
It was a chance to turn the compassion I’d extended to others towards myself.
What did this look like?
A giant permission slip to acknowledge and care for myself. To do things like go to bed when I’m tired, schedule more time in between work appointments, watch chick flix and hang out on my Peloton.
AND….
As an Interior Alignment practitioner, I never leave my home out of the equation. I use it to mirror how I want to feel in my life.
Here are some ways I use my home to remind myself to be more compassionate with myself. Borrow the ones that resonate for you and then add some more to your list!
- Place a candle and a jar of bath salts next to the tub.
- Drape a luxurious throw across the arm of the couch.
- Donate clothes that aren’t flattering.
- Fill the refrigerator with yummy, healthy foods.
- Let go of things you don’t love, need or use.
And for those of you who also have a history of burning themselves…turn down the temperature of your hot water heater!
Here’s to showering ourselves with compassion,
xoxo
Dorena
P.S. I never did see the snake. 😮💨 Apparently just hearing about him was enough to jump start my transformation!
