I quit.
There’s only so much emotional mud that I could be dragged through. And I had reached my limit.
Last Christmas, I binge watched five episodes of Bridgerton and rode the roller coaster of Daphne and Simon’s love affair. Their story is one of unrequited love. Each thinking the other was marrying out of obligation. The hopeful romantic in me longed for them to trust their love. And at the end of episode 5, I thought they were finally there. I relaxed a bit. I was confident that their love story would have a happy ending.
And then came episode 6. Apparently, Julia Quinn had more in store for her characters. It was a plot twist that was obvious, but one that I’d been naively ignoring. As Daphne caught Simon in a lie, it seemed like their marriage was irreparably broken. This was enough to break me, so I quit. I declared that I was done watching Bridgerton forever and googled when the next season of Ted Lasso would be released.
I realize this all seems extreme. But 2022 has felt extreme, and this hopeful romantic was done.
Until my friend John said, “Dorena, you really need to finish the season. I promise you won’t be disappointed.”
So I popped the popcorn and committed to finishing the last two episodes of the season.
John was right. I wasn’t disappointed.
The season ends with Daphne telling Simon, “I love all of you. Even the parts that you believe are too dark and too shameful. Every scar. Every flaw. Every imperfection. I love you.”
As I turned off the tv cheering the happy ending, I was reminded how often our discomfort gets in the way of feeling joyful.
We stop short of finishing the work we start, because it feels hard or overwhelming.
This is particularly true when it comes to decluttering. We’re filled with inspiration, and we tear apart our closet only to leave everything on the floor for weeks. We can’t decide what we should keep and what we shouldn’t. So, we step over it, and avoid it. Just like I avoided the last two episodes of Bridgerton. I couldn’t imagine a happy ending.
But the truth is when we push past our resistance and complete what we started, joy awaits us on the other side.
When you finish your decluttering project, the shift in energy will be palpable. You’ll discover that as you positively shift the energy in your home, you’ll positively shift the energy in your life. Like Daphne and Simon, you’ll let go of the things that are getting in the way of living an authentic life.
And just in case you need a friend like John promising you that there’s a happy ending on the other side, here are 4 decluttering tips to nudge you past your resistance:
- Start with the lowest hanging fruit. If you have a large pile of things to go through and you don’t know where to start, identify at least 1 or 2 things you immediately know are trash/recycling. Don’t start with your stack of journals which may throw you into a state of decision paralysis. Begin moving the energy of the space, by letting go of a few things that you’re not emotionally attached to and know belong in the garbage.
- Pick a single area. Don’t try to tackle your entire kitchen or your entire garage in a day. Pick a manageable space based on the amount of time you have available, such as a single drawer in the kitchen or a corner of the garage. You can even pick a category of items. For example, rather than decluttering your entire closet. Declutter your yoga pants.
- Set a timer. Often, we dive into a project and empty an entire room of its contents only to feel overwhelmed, because we’ve run out of time to decide what to do with the things we’ve thrown out of our closets and drawers. If you have a limited amount of time, then set a timer for ½ the amount of time you have available. Use ½ the time to empty the area you’re decluttering. Then use the other ½ time to process what you just emptied.
- Process your decisions.
If you’ve made a decision to let something go, then reap the benefits of your space feeling lighter by letting it go. Don’t let the thrift store pile get so big that it won’t fit in your car!
Here’s to happy endings,
xoxo
Dorena
Space Doula® and
Certified Practitioner of Feng Shui, Clutter Clearing and Soul Coaching®
